Experiencing the Holy Spirit

IT WAS September 2015, and I was alone at night in my living room, looking at a YouTube video on “Praying in Tongues,” where I heard someone praying in tongues for the first time. It was then that the Holy Spirit suddenly filled me with His awesome overpowering Love and Life. Experiencing the Holy Spirit has been the most fabulous experience of my life.

The events leading up to this night had begun two weeks earlier when I learned about several terrible things that had occurred within my family. I did not expect my reaction. I did not feel anger at the persons that caused these things, as I would have expected. I felt an extreme sadness that someone had hurt, really hurt, the persons I loved the most, that I was only finding out then, and that I had not been able to help or protect them. This sadness was still present the next day. As I was showering thinking about all these things, I began to pray and opened my heart to the Lord.

As I prayed, I realized that I wanted to fight for my loved ones. I wanted these types of things never to occur again. I was mature enough by this time to understand that the driving force behind all this evil originated from the devil. The worse thing was knowing that I had also regularly succumbed to temptation. Thus tainted and manipulated by the devil through my sinful actions.

Surrendering to the Lord

I then knelt in the shower and asked the Lord with all my heart to give me the strength and the weapons to fight for my loved ones. For the first time, I surrendered myself up to the Lord. As I said these things, God answered my prayer. A change began to come over me. Anger began replacing the great sadness that I was feeling. But a different type of emotion, it was hot and forceful but also controlled. It was not hatred, and not directed towards the persons involved. For them, I strangely felt pity. Instead, this emotion was hot, tempered anger against the devil and his works.

This anger proceeded to replace all of my sadness. I then stood up, and I swore out loud with all of my soul. Swearing that I would fight the devil with all of my strength for the rest of my life. Also, I would not do it alone but would join the Church, that I might bring them into the fight.

A Baptism in the Holy Spirit

It so happened that the next day I was going with my family to meet with my friend Bobby to hear Him preach as a guest at a local evangelical church (At this time, I still hadn’t returned to the Catholic Church). During his sermon, Bobby spoke about the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. He mentioned how one of the signs was speaking in tongues. At this point, I had never heard of speaking in tongues before. Much less had I even heard someone speaking in tongues. After his sermon, Bobby asked for those that wanted to be baptized in the Spirit to come forward. I went along with some others from the assembly. While we prayed, I felt a wish to speak from my heart. However, I remember stopping it and forcing myself to continue to follow what my mind wanted to say.

Listening to a Prayer in Tongues

After that day, Bobby’s mention of tongues, and my wondering what “tongues” were, would not leave me and became a fixation. It felt like a needle in my mind that would not leave me alone. No matter how hard I tried to shove it aside or what I did to try to distract myself. Two weeks passed, and I lay in bed at night. I was not able to sleep by the force of this thought. I finally gave in and went to my living room. Where I began to investigate what tongues were.

That was how I found myself alone in my living room at night, looking at a YouTube video of a woman praying in tongues. In the video, the woman explained that she had asked the Lord to be able to speak in tongues for eight years. She then described the first time it happened. She also told me how she wanted to share her gift with others. To pray for those who also wanted to speak in tongues that they might be blessed.

Experiencing the Holy Spirit

Up until this point, the woman in the video had spoken and prayed in English. I was feeling curious about how it would sound. However, as soon as she began praying in tongues, I felt like something gripped my heart forcefully, filling me with an overwhelming force. I had never felt such a pure and immensely powerful emotion of Love. To describe it, I can only compare it to the feeling of love that I felt for my daughter the first time I held her in my arms. At that moment, I felt a love so strong for her that my heart ached for a few instants. It was so strong it drove tears into my eyes.

What I was feeling that night in my living room was like that experience with my daughter. However, it was purer, a million times more powerful, and went on for what seemed an eternity. I remember that it filled me so much and was so strong that it began almost to hurt.  Not physical pain, only it was too much for me to continue to process it. When I felt like I would die if it kept going any longer, it began to ebb down until I was finally able to come to myself and open my eyes.

A New Understanding

I took in my surroundings with my face covered in tears. Realizing that rivers of tears had poured down my face as I had experienced God’s love through the Holy Spirit. I also noticed that about 15 minutes had passed since I first heard the prayer in tongues. It was at that moment that I understood several things:

God is Love. He is pure love, and even our most robust emotional experiences here on earth pale in comparison to being able to experience God’s essence of pure, eternal Love.

That feeling of overwhelming pure love is how the eternal union with the Trinity feels. That is what Heaven is. It is what awaits us at the end of our earthly lives.

I also understood why, in the old testament, they thought humans would die if they were in the direct presence of God. I can remember the feeling of sweet pain towards the end when I knew that I would not be able to endure much more of experiencing the Holy Spirit.

The Beginning of My Transformation

This event was a pivotal moment in my life. It has unfolded an endless series of improvements in both myself and my friends and family. It is exciting for me to continue walking on my Road to Righteousness. To find out where He will take me next. This experience is also my inspiration for creating this Blog. I hope it may be an instrument for myself and others to share their experiences with God. That we may strengthen and help each other to find and grow in God. To continue to build ourselves up until the day that we join with the Trinity for all eternity.

I bless you in the Name of Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior. I pray that you may come to know Him to the fullest degree possible, joining with Him to enjoy His Love for all eternity.

Amen.